Unloved and Unseen

Unloved and Unseen

A blind man sat by the road, not seeing and not being seen. If he was lucky, a few coins might be tossed his way, but otherwise, he was alone.

As a child, I shut myself in a closet. I waited in the inky black stillness, not seeing and not being seen. Alone. Would anyone come my way? Would anyone notice the pain inside? As a child, sexual and verbal abuse sent me down into a pit that I yearned to claw my way out. Depression cloaked me in feelings of inadequacy. Unloved. Unseen. Forgotten. Wondering, if I was gone, would anyone notice? I waited in the closet, hoping for someone to come, but no one came. I made up my mind that I was not worthy of being saved.

I cried. The tears made my eyes swollen and red, but I learned a warm cloth would return my face to normal. Yet, I wanted them to notice my heart was breaking. But they didn’t. Was there something wrong with me that made my pain invisible?

I hit myself. I clawed and cried. No one noticed. My heart beat sad and alone, screaming for someone to see.

I went to church. I learned the two greatest commandments. I loved God. I loved others. But I hated myself. I loathed myself. How could I love myself when no one else did?

A blind me sat by the road. He was trapped. An outcast at the edge of the city. The crowd silenced him. They didn’t see him. They didn’t see his hurting heart. But Jesus did.

He stopped. He heard the cries of the man the others had not heard. He saw the man the others had not seen.

“When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, ‘Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!’” ( Mark 10:47 NIV).

“Jesus stopped…” (Mark 10:49 NIV)

He stopped for the blind man. He stopped for me. He climbed into my closet. He saw my hurting heart. He knows about the abuse that happened to me. He sees my tears even when I try to hide them. In fact, God loves me so much, he wants me in his family. He wants to adopt me and give me a new home. That’s why he died for me.

John 3:16 is a verse so many people can rattle off, “For God so loved the world, he gave his only son…” All the times I read that verse, I missed the most important thing. When God says he loved the whole world, he meant ME. He loved ME so much he died for ME. He died for me so that I don’t have to feel alone. I don’t have to feel unwanted. He wants me.

Jesus saw the man on the side of the road. He loved him. Jesus saw the girl in the closet. He loves her. Jesus sees you. He loves you.

2 thoughts on “Unloved and Unseen

  1. From time to time in my life I’ve felt like an “invisable” person. Way back in the day we were referred to as ‘wall flowers’ i.e., fading into the background.

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