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Category: Spiritual Ramblings

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I am breaking up with my best friend. Even though we go way back, it’s time. I have been trying to break up with her for the past twenty years, but she keeps clawing her way back in. It may seem heartless to leave her behind. After all, I take her everywhere. She wraps around me like a second skin.  She won’t go without a fight. She keeps whispering in my ear. She shouts to my back. Are you sure?…

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Camp Meeting Retreat

Camp Meeting Retreat

 When my husband first mentioned “Family Camp,” I thought he must have been mistaken. To me, camp was a place where kids go and parents rest from kids. It was a definition of camp that I liked.   When my mother-in-law suggested our family attend camp meeting, I was unsure. I liked my old idea of camp. I wanted to be able to ship my kids off and enjoy some solo time at the pool. However my kids started begging…

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Life Requirement

Life Requirement

 During summers as a young teen, I unloaded books from a semi truck for no pay. It was a normal day for the daughter of a pastor. Growing up as a PK (pastor’s kid) involved sorting Christmas toys, delivering toys, and other activities that I usually grumbled about doing. For me, community service wasn’t a high school requirement, it was a life requirement. As a grouchy teen, I didn’t appreciate what my parents were doing. Now, my perspective has totally…

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The Lie 

The Lie 

I am a liar. “How are you?”   “Good! How are you?” It’s easy. The cheery answers slips out before the real answer even has time to form on my lips. After all, how would people react if I told them the truth? What would people say if I told them I wasn’t “good,” and I hadn’t been “good” for quite some time? Pain makes us uncomfortable. When we ask someone how they are, we want a cheery answer. We…

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Desperate 

Desperate 

I looked up and down the street. He wasn’t there. My toddler son was gone. After dropping a bag of groceries in the house, I had returned for my almost two year old son. Now he was missing. The sidewalk was empty. Every yard on the street was vacant. I began to scream wild, desperate screams.   The Lord is searching. He is desperate for us. He cries out for us. His voice isn’t always audible, but it’s always present….

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A Different Anniversary

A Different Anniversary

This summer marks an important anniversary in my life. There won’t be any gifts exchanged to mark the day. No one will be hosting a party. I’m not even certain of the exact day. I am certain that without this anniversary I wouldn’t be able to celebrate the anniversary of my marriage or the anniversary of my children’s birth. I am also certain that without this anniversary I wouldn’t be here writing.   At age 14, I wanted to kill…

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Closed Doors

Closed Doors

“When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.”   Maria, in the musical, The Sound of Music, had dreamed of and planned a life in the abbey. A conniving Baroness, a rigid, sea captain, and seven, mischievous children were not in her plan. The door to her dreams had rudely banged closed. I know exactly how Maria feels. My life hasn’t been the life I pictured as a child. My idealistic pictures of my future never included…

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Missing Babies 

Missing Babies 

I lost my babies. Their short chubby legs have been replaced by lanky legs and arms. Their soft blonde hair has grown coarser and darker. The sweet smell of their heads has transformed into the smell of a teen. I look longingly at those baby pictures wondering if I could ever find those sweet boys again. I miss the preschool story times. Yet I revel in their love of books. I miss the cute things they said, but I love…

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One Ingredient 

One Ingredient 

When my husband and I were first dating, I cooked him one of the few meals I could make at the time: Chicken Helper. I don’t think he was too impressed. He still likes to tease me about my early cooking skills (or lack thereof). Sixteen years later, I have fortunately learned a lot more about cooking. One of the most important lessons I have learned is that one ingredient can make a huge difference.   Baking soda can make…

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The Last Option? 

The Last Option? 

I could not stop fuming. Anger towards her kept me up at night. Incessantly, her insults veiled as complements ran through my head. This one person drove me absolutely crazy and I did not know what to do about it, until a Bible study revealed the answer. I’m not sure if the answer came in scripture, through the Bible study book or another person. I only know that the answer was one word: pray.  Flabbergasted, I fumed: pray for her?!?…

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